Filiming on Choppy Waters

I just wrapped on a short film that took place on a boat in the bay.                                                                                                        I also just wrapped on a feature film in LA (that rhymed but ill get to that later.)

The short on the boat: It was a challenge and a breath of fresh air, no pun intended, to work with a director who cares about the background and the SOUL of the  characters (ie. how many siblings do they have? are they the oldest or the youngest? what is their internal struggle?) 

I have been out of college for 3 years now. It makes it harder to find ways to progress when I am not being surrounded by teachers and students who are constantly exercising their craft. So this is exactly what I needed for my art. To be around people who not only CARE but also exercise substance and texture and text and tone and color. However, I naturally attract/gravitate people like that because of a point I bring up if you read on...READ ON!

When we study a certain field in school we are so used to being forced to practice it, PRACTICE IT!! But when you graduate it is up to you what you exercise. It is up to you to find ways to progress. Sometimes it is as a simple as THINKING about what you need. Simple as sorting out in your head or, better yet, on paper, WHAT YOU NEED, at this point in time, TO PROGRESS, TO GET BETTER, TO BE BETTER. WHAT DO YOU NEED?  Do you need to splatter paint on a piece of paper for the simple act of reminding yourself what it feels like to create something? Do you need to perform more? Perform live more? Read more?  Do you need to meet new people? Do you need to work with more people so you can practice communicating? WHAT DO YOU NEED FOR YOURSELF TO BE BETTER AT YOUR ART? Don't be afraid to explore that. If you know, in your mind and in your heart ,what you are meant to do, then nothing will seem silly to you. Or it might but it will still carry a weight.  Everything thing serves a purpose. 

For me, what I needed...I needed to go back to school. Not literally but back to the lengths I took when I played a role in school. Studying the character. DIVING IN! I needed to REHEARSE with OTHER PEOPLE. not just read the lines out loud and try to relate to the character by myself, which is okay ,but I was missing (in all sense of the word "missing") the depth.

To simplify, I NEW I NEEDED TO BE CHALLENGED. I needed a character that was going to CHALLENGE ME. A director that was going to CHALLENGE ME. Actors that would CHALLENGE ME. Circumstance that would CHALLENGE ME.  I had been feeling this way the past year. And slowly but surely, I got just that. A character, a director, actors, and a story that CHALLENGED ME.

And you know what I say, nothing...oh jkda haha just kidding I say a BUNCHA sh*t cuz im high off life. But anyway no know what I say after I say  a BUNCHA sh*t? I say I am grateful,  I smile, I continue to reach, believe in myself and acknowledge that everything in my world exists, because I do.  Because something beyond me, some higher power that is fed off the choices and energy I give, comes right back around in love, in art, in people, in opportunities, in breath. So thank you to my angels.


I have been wanting to put on my own show since my eyeballs were exposed to the world. I have been a part of so many other peoples shows and always wanted to execute certain ideas, however; the producers either did not like the idea or there was not enough allotted time for me to do it properly.  It was frustrating because I would perform and feel as though I have ripped myself or the audience off, although I still managed to squeeze something in there that made me feel that I made it my own. I  was sick of not being able to do what I WANTED. So i said, uuuhh why don't i just make my own show so I can do EVERYTHING and ANYTHING I wanted!!! I did just that.

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It  was basically a blast from the past. It was my 9 year old self on stage except with all the knowledge and experience I've gained over the past 25 years. I will be posting highlights and clips from the show. I don't want to give away too much because I plan on putting on the show again and again! THIS TIME inviting the critics. 

I learned from producing the show, that I HOLD THE POWER. 

If you have a vision, you have EVERYTHING YOU NEED to bring it to life. JUST DO IT. DONT WAIT.

There is nothing more rewarding than bringing the characters IN MY HEAD, moments IN MY HEAD and music IN MY HEAD to life. Its a bonus that it IMPACTED the audience. I don't focus on that bonus but it is definitely a main desire I hope to create. impact. head on. blood. just blood.but impact.


I am producing my first One Woman Show. Its called Hayley Goldstein Presents "A One Woman Show with a couple other people" 



JUST IN!!! Hayley performs with Coyote Trickster opening for Train!

it was prettyy cool, a quickie but cool

COYOTE TRICKSTER opened for Train at SOLD OUT SHOW at Great American Music Hall. I got to hop on the wagon for a couple songs. I made a lubrication joke but I don't think it landed. But I sang well!!


is the title straight forward enough? This spring I wrapped on an awesome feature film working with the awesome Skeet Ulrich and Sean Young and not to mention all the other stars in it who are a talented bunch...lemme tell you. I don't like to tell people that I am the comedic relief in this film. I like to just say the relief. You can decide how my character relieves you. whatteva ya want. Anyway check out this article in the hollywood reporter!!! 


Gonna be a great stepping stone, to whom ever is reading.....keep truckin. The only way you are going to grow and fulfill your potentail is by loving and supporting meeee lol jk jk.  The only way is by DOING. screw everything that comes after. Its about doing doing doing and now now now. your dreams will always be floating in your head, so naturally when you do do, the choices you make will be toward the dream.

When I Was Younger (so a couple days ago)

When I was younger, like a couple days ago...(younger is any time before the now) I was thinking about the idea of a pimp and it occurred to me that I had such an interesting idea of a pimp. Or i was naive to the "business" aspect. I was watching Deuce Bigalow: Male Jiggalo (actually spelled Gigalo, just looked it up) and the so called "pimp" was played by Eddie Griffin. In the film Eddie's character talks about the fact that Deuce is making him so much money! BOOM WISHH SWOOSH TIME WARP (sound effects for whats going on in my mind)  For some reason, through some swirl of thoughts I opened the file of my thoughts and perspective of a pimp from when I was younger, like around 9 years old. Somehow, I was in the mind of my 9 year old self and managed to sit in my perspective and see the images I had of a pimp. It happened real REAL quick and I didn't TRY to go there. It just happened, somehow i just arrived there or it arrived here. the moment Eddies character spoke about his CUT, it triggered this quick time warp image of memories from a moment in time when i was 9 years old having a quick thought. And this is what I discovered. (As my 9 year old self watching this movie)  I didnt think about the cut that they got, I didn't think about the fact that they got a percentage of what the "prostitutes were making." I thought they just looked cool with a purple suit a feather and the best accessory of all, the naked/provocatively dressed women; as if they acted as a scarf swarming around their purple suited body. I knew that the pimp provided clients of some sort or it kindve occurred to me. I didnt focus on that. I focused on the colors, the sexy part of it, the fun fantastical image I would see on the television screen. I thought that somehow maybe the clients just were there or they showed up and the pimp is  just there to approve or pretend like at the end of the day "these women are mine but i am happy to share them", like candy or a good scotch. This might all not make sense to you but this is parallel to many other situations that I and maybe you have in life. A moment in time when you see, hear, feel, EXPERIENCE something and somehow it reminds you and brings you back to a perspective, image or feeling so different you had of something similar when you were younger. And you have a secret subtle AHA! ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! moment. And it also makes you realize your progress and growth as a human. I am examining now the reason I was able to "see" the business and ackowledge that aspect in the movie now (cuz when i was younger i didn't SEE that part) It's because I am INVOLVED or have experience or have been forced to learn the business side of things in my life NOW. I have also encountered people who talk about it a lot. So because "business" is more present in my life, the business aspect of the movie stood out to me in the movie. And that was, hmm lets call it something, a *"molecule when i was younger" moment for me. These moments happen SO FAST sometimes you are not able to acknowledge it BUT these are the moments a SHIFT happens. Others might see you as "stupid" when you are having these moments. And I don't think that is fair. I think it is important to recognize that knowledge is ALSO perspective its an on going experience and different for everyone. How, where, when you arrive to a "molecule when i was younger" moment which happens often in our everyday lives we just dont realize it, embrace it and examine it! You might learn more and can teach someone else something when the time comes. Only you are having that experience. And If someone is judging you and looking at you like you are stupid , remember they have those moments too but they haven't realized yet what exactly is happening. You will have this experience in you're head. So most of the time what will only be heard by other people is what you have arrived at, not the wonderfully confusing journey in your head. And you might say something because thats what you know/arrived at. And the other person will say "seriously?" or "no thats wrong"  or "that doesn't make sense" , "you're stupid." And then you go on living your life feeling discouraged not confident, and decrease the amount of thoughts and ideas and most likely smart and brilliant things you want to say OUT LOUD. YOU QUIET YOURSELF BECAUSE OF THAT ONE PERSON NOT ACKNOWLEDGING THAT YOU ARE HAVING YOUR "molecule when i was younger" moment! It's not that you are stupid! It's your JOURNEY!!! And what I have to say to myself is that when someone calls you stupid, let that be APART of your journey and learn about how it makes you feel to be called stupid. Somewhere down the line there will be a time in your life and you will have a " molecule when i was younger" moment that will connect to the time that someone called you stupid and it shall serve you not rob you.  And when ever you find yourself judging yourself or someone else for not knowing something, stop yourself and say they don't know it for a reason. I/They have a different perspective, I/they have different eyes and I/they can learn or better yet I/they can teach me/them.


*Molecule when i was younger moment- when a feeling, sound, image, and/or an experience in the present carries you back to a moment in time mentally or emotionally,  you thought, felt, or knew differently or the same about that same idea or different idea. (could be in another life)


When you are in the sauna and you plan on being in there for 10 minutes but a chubby big brown eyed high energetic soaking wet from the pool short black man sits next to you and starts a conversation with you and asks (uncreepily and not threatening and SO FRIENDLY AND WONDERFUL) what ethnicity you are and that he has seen you before at the gym and your freckles are placed just right and captivating. giggling in between and wiping the liquids off his face and starts talking about how he has a love for building ( you jump in and say like building things, physical buildings) he says yah building actual buildings... anyway he just gets into it and says he had a natural ability for it when he was 3 and then starts to talk about 3 parts to the human experience meanwhile its been TWENTY MINUTES in the sauna and YOU NEED TO GET OUT but you are having an existential conversation that is changing your life and you keep responding which encourages him to keep going and your like FUCK FUCK FUCK and he says i know i know you wanna go, but one more thing..... so you stay in there for 30 minutes.

(this is me)


so i was cleaning the bathroom earlier, bent down, legs spread, crevices and all. It smelled weird but then i thought oh what if its not the could be me, confusion. but it was probably the bathroom but i also felt the smell very close..very close like AS IF IT WAS ME, confusion


it could also be that i have had a glass of wine




Speaking of the airport

Speaking of the airport! ..........................................









More Dairy

Today though is my lucky day, Unless it all hits me later tonight. We will see. But honestly, so far so good..with a few minor exceptions here and there its going pretty well. Lets hope it doesn't hit me all at once on the plane. Although people would never know. I am currently at the airport, on my way back to SF from Los Angeles. It was a great trip. I did really well. I actually had a quite a bit of dairy. I had a piano lesson. Shit. I can feel it. I am going to be ripping all night. Not now, but later. I live with my boyfriend. He is SO cute.

 Photo by Purestock/Purestock / Getty Images

Photo by Purestock/Purestock / Getty Images


I knew I shouldn't have done it. It was right there, they were both right there. He even asked, which one I wanted. I could have said one or the other, it was as simple as that. Low and behold, I chose the wrong one. I chose the one I should not have chose. I did the one thing I should not have done, especially while staying at Brooke's house. Brooke hates when I make this choice. It was the wrong decision. 

I should have gone for the soy.

 Photo by nomis_g/iStock / Getty Images

Photo by nomis_g/iStock / Getty Images


When a tambourine actually comes in handy

 Photo by Thomas Perkins/iStock / Getty Images

Photo by Thomas Perkins/iStock / Getty Images

(not me pictured above)


My Water Bottle is Leaking

A true story by Hayley Goldstein

The story....... TO BE CONTINUED

 Photo by Marek Uliasz/iStock / Getty Images

Photo by Marek Uliasz/iStock / Getty Images

 Photo by chaofann/iStock / Getty Images

Photo by chaofann/iStock / Getty Images